Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a Septic Tank Truck: “Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.”

On another Septic Tank Truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business"

On a Plumber's van: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's van: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber"

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's van: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealer’s: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside an exhaust fitter’s: "No appointment necessary We hear you coming."

In a Vet's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of an undertaker: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Gas Supplier: "Thank heaven for little grills."

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