Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

When I first heard about Viagra, I thought it was a new player Chelsea had just signed. - Tony Banks.

In his prime, Joe Bugner had the physique of a Greek statue, but fewer moves. - Hugh McIlvanney.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. - Joan Rivers.

I was watching sumo wrestling for two hours before I realised it was darts. - Hattie Hayridge.

Have you noticed that, whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? - Dave Barry

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregarding all rules, and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting. - George Orwell.

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