This is a huge subject, which has been further subdivided (using the buttons on the left, as usual, as:

Marital Bliss. A new category that speaks for itself.

Men. Some for the ladies: a few quotes about the weaker sex. (NOTE: the use of the word ‘sex’ will bring the search engines flooding to this site.

Otherwise, read on ...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is theMercedes-Benz 380S

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. - Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns*

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. - Jack Nicholson

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Robert De Niro

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? - Dustin Hoffman

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams

It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom. - Joan Rivers

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy. - Steve Martin

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life. - Emo Phillips

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. - George Burns

Women fake orgasms. Men fake relationships.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

"I wasn't kissing her, I was just whispering in her mouth." - Chico Marx

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy Live. - Bob Hope

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

No matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

There are always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.

A friend in power is a friend lost. - Henry Adams, 1907.

A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry!

Be nice to your kids. They're the ones who will choose your nursing home.

By the time you realise that people are important, you will probably find that you have lost contact with those who have been the most important to you.

Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions. - Aldous Huxley, 1937.

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from a friend's forehead. - Chinese Proverb

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in. - Courtney Cox

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you were really sorry, you wouldn't do it.

It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses. - Mrs. Patrick Campbell, 1964.

Make it easy for people to give you what you want.

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you'll have.

Where there's a will there's a relative.

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

For a friendship to be truly meaningful, it has to be unconditional.

"My girlfriend always laughs during Sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

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