A 'Bad-Sector Disk-Error' will only ever occur after you've done several hours of work without a backup.
A program generator will create programs that are more full of bugs than the program generator.
A program will expand until it has filled all available memory.
Adding extra manpower to a late software project will put it even further behind schedule.
Always keep a record of data. It gives the impression that you've been working.
Any program, when running, is obsolete.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Any system that relies on human reliability is unreliable.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing!
At the source of every error blamed on a computer, there are at least two human errors; including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Be careful; don't get your keyboard all GUI.
Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.
Dot Matrix: Soap-opera character.
Every task will take twice as long as you think it will take. So, if you double the time you think it will take, it will actually take four times as long.
Floppy disk: Norwegian entry in the Eurovision song contest.
Hardware: Donkey jacket and Doc Martens
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY
IBM... making tomorrow's mistakes TODAY!
Idiot-proof programs aren't.
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some work done.
It is morally wrong to allow naive end-users to keep their money.
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
No matter how large and standardised the market place is, IBM can redefine it.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Program results should always be reproducible. They should all fail in exactly the same way.
Programs developed and installed to the first deadline will require the most maintenance.
Software: Anorak and glasses.
Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.
The amount of work outstanding will increase as the project deadline approaches.
The answer is easier when the question is hypothetical.
The complexity of a program will grow until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
The day that computers can be programmed in natural English will be the day it is discovered that programmers are illiterate.
The first 90% of any task will take 10% of the time. The last 10% of a task will take the other 90% of the time.
The higher the 'higher-ups' are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances of a successful one.
The illusion of progress can be achieved by simply rearranging the terms of description so that new acronyms are created. - Scott Smith, Sikorsky Test Pilot
The nearer a new program gets to going live, the less it resembles the original specification.
The probability of an element being omitted from the whole is directly proportional to its importance.
The probability of live data files being irretrievably lost is directly proportional to the number of programmers used to develop the system.
The quality of documentation is inversely proportional to the level of understanding of those writing it.
The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its printout.
There is always one item on a screen menu that is mis-labelled and which should read, 'Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here'.
To err is human... To really screw things up you need a computer.
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which are by definition, limited.
'User friendly' is a subtle way of saying the end-users are idiots.
Variables don't, constants aren't.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
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